


WTF am I wiritng? South Park shorts and drabbles

by TweekingOut



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:05:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TweekingOut/pseuds/TweekingOut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random tidbits of practice writing insane ideas an ships! many varying pairings and a few crossovers! Please note that these are all UNEDITED meaning there will be a lot of mistakes and grammar issues along with plot jumps and other problems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ninja Tweek

The tall lanky blonde teen named Tweek Tweak was wandering around the school. It was club sign up day and one had caught his eye: the anime club. They did all things anime including a side club involving Naruto and ninjas. The freaky blonde loved all things anime and especially loved ninjas. He had joined it years ago at the young age of nine. He trained hard every day after school and during the summer. For two years he hardly saw his friends as he trained with their group to be actual ninjas, learned in the way of Japanese (Naruto anime) style. No one suspected anything other than them cosplaying as ninjas. Tweek was the fastest and quietest of their group. He wasn’t very strong, however made up for it in stealth and aim. He was a ranged weapon kind of ninja sticking to shrunken. In close range he used two Sai, that would hand in his belt until needed. He was also extremely flexible. This ninja secret was kept from all his friends, even Craig. Tweek wasn’t an active member of the group, however, and hadn’t realized Clyde had joined a year ago. The brunette was still in training and on a fateful day, had broken his ankle landing wrong doing a complicated maneuver.

                Kevin ran into him, dressed as a ninja during a trip out with his friends Craig and Token.

“Hey! Tweeeek” he called to get his attention and ran over pulling his arm. “Come on! We’re down one Clyde broke his foot that damn fool. We have a three on three fight today and we can’t do it with just two people!” He ranted and tugged hard on the blonde’s arm. Craig flipped him off and Token looked on confused.

“We’re a little busy today for you guys to have a cosplay emergency.” He commented with a frown.

“But it’s the Denver clan!” Kevin shouted, the two teens obviously had no idea why that was so important.

“Denver!? You were going to fight Denver with a first year in training??” Tweek chastised. All these words went right over the others heads. Kevin looked guilty. “You could have texted me man! Jesus!” He tugged his hair really hard and they started discussing weird shit no one understood.

“Tweek, man, the hell are you talking about?” Craig asked him, interrupting what the other was saying.

“I have to go help them man! If I don’t they’ll get their asses kicked badly! We have a heavy rivalry with the Denver clan.” He tried to explain in the simplest way he could. The others still didn’t understand what the fuss was all about. Tweek ran off pulling Kevin’s arm, out of the mall and away somewhere. Token and Craig shared a look before running after their friend. When it was obvious they couldn’t keep up they gave up and tried to figure out where they were going to.

Tweek and Kevin ran fast across roofs and into the park where the other member of their team was waiting. He pushed a stray blonde hair into the black hood, though it just fell right back a few seconds later. Tweek was in full out ninja wear, with weapons that impressed even the leader of the little group. The blonde’s parents really didn’t care what he did so the weapons were hidden easily in his room. Kevin and him started sparring in wait for the Denver clan to show up. In their outfits they referred to one another with their ‘ninja names’ Tweek’s was Caffeine. Neither saw from the corner of the park Craig and Token walking around looking for them. It seems they had been right about the two mentioning the park by Stark’s Pond.

Neither noticed as the two teens found them sparring like crazy. Tweek did a back flip to avoid a nasty blow and threw a shuriken at Kevin. Kevin dodged in a similar matter then charged at the blonde. He flipped up into the tree nearby and swung around a few limbs landing behind Kenny’s brother. He held a Sai up to his neck.

“Point.” He stated simply. Tweek, much like Kenny as Mysterion, altered his voice deeper. They turned and grinning bowed.

“You’ve still got it Caffeine.” He praised and sat cross legged in the grass. No one still noticed the gaping teens. A group of three in similar outfits came along and stood with crossed arms. They immediately sat up straight and came over to them. After a few words in Japanese they bowed and began fighting. Craig had to duck barely missing being hit with the flying death weapons everywhere. Token had retreated behind a large tree for the time being. Tweek was facing the really big one, with arms bulging with muscles. He dodged nimbly and hid in the tree, doing the same trick as before then knocking out the member. He helped Kevin take down the last one. The blonde high fived his group and laughed at the fast win. “Sweeeet.” The brunette assessed.

“Hoy f—ing shit…” a voice caught their attention. Craig stood there watching the team and the other team knocked on their asses.

“Oops.” Tweek replied and couldn’t help a smirk. They burst out laughing when they saw Token peer his head around the tree with a scared and curious gaze. “Uh…” the blonde pulled his hood down “Hi?” he ended that with nervous laughter.

“What the hell!? I thought I was just stupid dressing up like anime characters! Not fighting and doing back flips!” The ebony haired teen exclaimed in a rare show of emotion. He pointed his hands for emphasis. “And you owe me a new hat! I got hit with one of those spikey things!!” he swore up and down at them.

“Ack! Are you alright?? Did you get hurt?” The blonde ran over and inspected him thoroughly. “Oh good you’re alright.” He sighed having been saved from a freak out.

“Me? Tweek you’re bleeding!” Craig pointed to various spots. Tweek pressed a hand to one and it brought back red.

“Eh, it’s just a scratch.” His friend flipped out at the comments, apparently it wasn’t just a scratch to him. The blonde shrugged it off and checked his other teammates for wounds. They decided it was fine and able to be taken care of at home. The blonde brought Craig home, who was still stammering about it. He dressed his cuts and chugged some coffee. Craig never got over the fact that Tweek Tweak was a real ninja.


	2. Superntural South Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supernatural meets the south park world and humor ensues.  
> Craig= high angel  
> Token/Clyde= Sam and Dean  
> Tweek= god or a prophet?  
> Inspired by Supernatural South Park image on tumblr and Devart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that these works are all UNEDITED meaning that were will be a lot of mistakes, errors, and other issues.

****

A tall lanky blonde teen was sitting in his parent’s coffee shop. There were empty cups littered everywhere around him. One was upright next to his screen; half full and still steaming. He was biting his lip and siting up back achingly straight. It was a habit of his when he typed to sit so rigid. The dark rings under his shocking hazel eyes only added to the odd scene. The blonde paused to chug the rest of the coffee next to him. Long fingers flew across the keys of a slim black laptop. It didn’t really help that the teen seemed to be in his pajamas yet, a long robe and boxers with a loose shirt. Hovering nearby was another teen. He had pitch black hair and a blue chullo on his head. It had a bright yellow puff ball on its tip. He got up and automatically got the frazzled teen another cup of coffee. He looked up for a few moments to thank him and run a hand through his crazy yellow hair. The keys clicked fast as if they had a mind of their own. The teen adjusted ebony locks and pulled a chair up behind the blonde.

“Hey Tweek, you should chill on the coffee you’ll be up for days on end. Not that you wouldn’t anyways but…” the teen poked his shoulder and only got a loud ‘gah’ in return. The blonde was too busy concentrating of he would have given the other a glare and demand for more coffee. Tweek leaned closer to the lighted square really getting into what he was writing.

“Craig what are you doing?” Tweek noticed the other leaning over his shoulder to read as he wrote by the large black wing that surrounded his shoulder. He gave him an uncertain look. Craig replied in monotone disinterest.

“Huh. Is it really necessary for you to include that much detail in your gospels sex scenes?” the angel teen sounded completely unattached to the sentence. The blonde fidgeted

“Uh.”

“I guess it would increase the bible’s popularity. Humans seem to like porn.” It would seem humorous to anyone else watching the scene. Tweek’s face was awkward and unsure how to explain his reasoning.

“Um…” the blonde looked back at Craig as he read a little more of what was on the document. Neither noticed the two hunters watching with interest. Clyde and Token snuck closer to hear the rest of the conversation.

“I think it’s making my vessel aroused.” He stated with absolutely no emotion. The two hunters clapped hands to their mouths to hold in the laughter.

“Wow, Craigstiel that’s…that’s great?” there was a nervous and guilty smile on the teen’s face. At this point the hunters busted out laughing so hard they literally rolled across the flooring. Tweek startled slightly at the realization they were there. “Ack!” the twitched, something he hadn’t done much in the years after growing up. It added to the boys laughing. The angel glared and raised a middle finger. “What are you guys doing here anyways?”

“Coffee run,” Token managed through the humor. They finally slowed to a stop. The teens ordered their coffee.

“So it sounds like the writing is going well?” there was a cheeky grin on Clyde’s face. The blonde jittered and downed the full cup of coffee. Craig sighed and got up to get a few more for the blonde. He chugged coffee like it was the end of the world if he was stressed out. He brought back a few cups and handed them over. “You make coffee?” he questioned the tall man.

“Not for you.” He replied curtly. Clyde acted hurt but was grinning. A waitress brought over Token and Clyde’s coffee. They waved as they left, but didn’t bother caring that they got no response. Tweek was back in his own world typing again while the other teen wandered the seats until there was another coffee refill needed.


	3. The Pairing Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenny finds out how amusing his mashed names can be. especially when it comes to his friends (unfinished)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that these works are all UNEDITED meaning that were will be a lot of mistakes, errors, and other issues.

Kenny McCormick was always one for flirting and a good few jokes but this topped the cake. For him anyways. Not everyone liked his sense of humor, especially when it involved mashing is friends names together as couples and making jokes of them. They didn’t catch on at first, much to the blonde’s amusement.

                “Hey Kyle!” greeted from an orange parka. It was surprisingly clear against his normally muffled words. The red head greeted back happily.

                “Hey Ken, how’s it goin’?” he waved him over to where he sat on the bench. School was over now and he was waiting for Stan.

                “Oh not a lot.” He drawled. He didn’t sit down “I gotta go soon though, just wanted to say hi! Oh and that you have great Style dude.” It was a simple statement like that. It confused him for a moment but the flirty boy was gone before he could ask about it. Kyle didn’t really understand what he meant the first few times he ran it over in his head. He wore the same coat as he always did, same green hat. He shrugged it off as Kenny being odd again. Stan didn’t know what it meant either. They forgot about for a while until Kenny said it again one lunch.

                “Of course I’ll come over dude! That science test is going to be a killer.” Stan groaned and they discussed a sleepover study night at Kyle’s house.

                “Don’t forget to add some Style to that sleepover.” Kenny grinned at his stupid joke. The few around them that had heard, or knew about his joke laughed lightly.

“What?” the ginger furrowed his brows in confusion. The small group laughed a little more and patted him on the back “I don’t get it!” Kenny just smiled at him. He did that to freak others out as well, once calling him and Butters ‘Bunny’

This went on for the rest of the week until Craig Tucker punched him in the face. They two groups were having a rare day of conversing on peaceful terms. Kenny had been talking with Tweek about redecorating his room. He wanted to paint coffee cups on the wall. Kenny encouraged him to do so, and not knowing Craig was listening in said:

“Are you getting a new bed too?” at the erratic nod he continued with a small smirk. “Well then you’ll have to be sure to Creek it,”

“T-to what!?” the blonde asked startled, wondering if there something important everyone else knew but him.

“Creek the bed.” Kenny grinned really big and laughed so hard his hood fell off. It didn’t last long, however. He stopped abruptly when he saw the ebony teen leering at him ready to kill. Craig Tucker was one of the few who had figured out his stupid jokes. Kenny got pummeled pretty badly that day.

Kyle got up the nerve to ask Craig if he knew what Kenny had meant. It had taken until the end of the day, but he did it. In front of witnesses and of course Tweek. He didn’t want to get beaten up after all.

“Hey um Craig? Do you know what Kenny means with those stupid words? He makes them sound dirty of something and laughs but I don’t get it.” Craig stared coolly a moment before leaning closer to tell him. He didn’t want this spread around the school any further than Kenny.

“They’re names mashed together. Like girls do as a couple.” He muttered darkly and turned back to Tweek. The blonde closed his locker and looked around franticly, his paranoia getting the best of him. Kyle thought it over and was lost in that though when Stan came over.

“There you are dude! Um hellooo? Earth to Kyle?” a hand waving in front of his face snapped out the trance.

“Oh my god! I’m going to kill Kenny!” he shouted when it clicked.

“What? Did you figure out those stupid sentences or something?” he wondered.

“It’s us and-and- they’re names! Actual names mashed together as couples and put into dirty situations!” he tugged his best friend’s shirt. “Style: Stan-Kyle, Creek: Craig-Tweek, Bunny: Butters-Kenny! Argh! That ass!” the ranted and pulled his stammering friend along to find the local poor boy. When they couldn’t find Kenny they went back home.

“What did you expect dude? It’s Kenny!” Stan countered back to another rant. Kyle, now in his room, tossed his hat down with a swear. It was time to bring in the big guns. Kyle pulled out his cell and dialed a number. “Who you calling?”

“Cartman.”

He told the heavy boy about what Kenny was doing and the name mashing. He made the other as mad as him when he mentioned a few of them: Kyman, and Candy. For once, the two were on each other’s sides for revenge.


	4. Craig's Group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How the gang came to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that these works are all UNEDITED meaning that were will be a lot of mistakes, errors, and other issues.

It was second grade, and they were playing a game to group up with other students. It was based on what everyone liked. The little Clyde of course put down Tacos and Tweek put down coffee. They were the only two who were left without partners.  
“Argh!” Tweek freaked out.  
“Hey you wanna be my partner? Do you like Tacos??” the brunette squeaked happily. The blonde yelped and jumped.  
“Ah! I l-like Tacos! Do you like coffee?” he pointed to a picture of coffee on his binder.  
“Yeah but mom won’t let me have anymore.” He pouted adorably.  
“You can have some! My mom gives me a big thing of it every day!” he offered and twitched and jittered. The two high fived and were partners that year. The next day they needed a team name, and their name was Coffee Taco. No one understood it of course. The following weekend at Tweek’s house they tried to combine coffee and tacos by pouring a hot sup of coffee on a bunch of tacos. Despite how disgusting they were, the two little first graders ate them all. Clyde went home after throwing up and wasn’t let over again.   
They snuck over to each other’s houses from then on. Once they snuck over to Token’s house to take their tacos and coffee. They found Token and Craig Tucker having a sleepover.  
“Hey! What are you doing in my kitchen?” The tall boy shouted and pointed. The blue hatted friend ran in there and stopped short. He flipped them off.  
“We need more coffee for our tacos!” Clyde yelled and put his hands in the air. Tweek just made odd noises and twitched . The blonde started to freak out pretty badly until Clyde shoved a cup of coffee in his hands.  
“Oh that’s…cool! Can we help?” Token asked, despite the other’s middle fingered protest. They two nodded and soon enough began their school years of ‘Craig’s Group’.  
  



	5. Coffee Shop jobs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek is sick of coffee?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that these works are all UNEDITED meaning that were will be a lot of mistakes, errors, and other issues.

He was tired of the same routine, his father working him to the bone. He got the special ground coffee for his father who would taste it and proclaim “Yup, that’s good shit.” Before going off in yet another metaphor. Those metaphors made him pull out his hair. People stopped wondering why he was so crazy and freaking out all the time when they met his parents. Also when they tried their coffee, it made anyone go nuts let alone drinking almost twenty cups a day. So much coffee made his friends worry into trying to force him to stop drinking it. That would have been horrible, if not for the fact he snuck quite a few cups in during his shift in the shop. They caught him drinking it during a shift and made him stop helping at the shop.

                It might be thought that Tweek would be mad for making him quit the shop. In fact, he was delighted. It gave him an excuse not to run the always empty store with the coffee that taste like sewage.


	6. Sitting Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek never could be still as stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that these works are all UNEDITED meaning that were will be a lot of mistakes, errors, and other issues.

It was known that one blonde Tweek Tweak could never sit still. He couldn’t sit still if his life depended on it. So the question now was why exactly was said twitchy blonde sitting statue still? In fact it was freaking out his friends how still he sat. A snapped finger in front of his face pulled him out of it and he started shaking and freaking out again. It occurred to the group that he might have frozen up after overloading his brain. The real answer was that the boy had these small moments where he would be still like a normal person. They were rare but happened. The same as his occasional moments of being super awesome.

                He had a few of these and seemed not to acknowledge how perturbed it made those around him. Such as once he caught a bunch of cups and trays that flew into the air from a waitress slipping and falling in the coffee shop. He caught them and spilt nothing, balancing the trays on his arms, hip and one foot. He didn’t even sway. After he just served the almost spilt coffee and treats then continued on as if nothing happened. The blonde had went back to normal twitching and stammering after he got back behind the counter. Everyone was bewildered by all the strange behavior, but put it aside. Worse things and more curious things happened in South Park after all.

                The blonde sat still again as he tried to get a stray cat to sniff his hand. He sat cross legged on the hard cement. The blonde was unmoved by his friends calling after him. The cute yellow kitten happily crawled up onto his lap and purred. The group actually rolled their eyes when he held it up to them cooing about the animal. The small kitten mewed adorably. Tweek got to keep the cat. Every time he played with it his shaking stopped for a while.

                The stillness of the teen was written off as another South Park anomaly and they went on their way.


End file.
